Ace Owens vs Elite Eliot
Elite Eliot comes out of his corner with a look of arrogance on his face, chewing his gum, but offering a handshake. As Ace reaches out, Elite says, “Good luck, pretty boy.” He’s not wrong about that. Ace is quite the pretty boy, looking as handsome as ever and sporting some seriously metallic aqua blue skimpy trunks. These things look like they came off a disco ball from the late 70’s. His hair is equally pretty, but reminds us of the perms women used to get, ironically, also from the late 70’s, probably in an old lady Beauty Parlor. Maybe Ace has a 70’s fetish. We’ll have to check the parking lot to see if he’s driving a Ford Pinto or Plymouth Volare. The Elite one looks as sexy and manly as they come, with his chiseled good looks, strapping muscles, and macho tats on his upper arms. A test of strength, some back-and-forth, and Ace has a tight headlock on Eliot. Being cocky, he says, “Ain’t too strong today, are ya?” Those are words he will quickly regret. Elite gets him in a head scissors that has him squirming like an insect stuck in a spider web. Ace does manage to escape, but neither man has a clear advantage over the other. Ace, however, seems insistent on continually making derogatory comments about Eliot’s strength, or lack of it. He didn’t get to be called “Elite” by being some pathetic jobber who gets his ass kicked every time he steps in the ring. Those rippling muscles and bulging veins indicate Elite doesn’t just look at the gym while driving to a fast food restaurant. Our advice to Ace is to be careful what you say. It just might come back to bite you in the ass. Maybe even sooner than you think.
Did we say something about Ace’s words coming back to bite him in the ass? That’s odd because Eliot wastes no time in taking control of Ace, and tying him up like he’s a ribbon on a Christmas present. Those huge muscles of Elite’s have Ace screaming in pain, yet Eliot doesn’t even have any sweat on him. Could this be an indicator of how this match will go? A few moves later and Ace’s face is about a red a hooker’s lips on a Saturday night. Hopefully Ace knows a good chiropractor – it looks like he’s gonna need one. Elite appears to be taking total control, even slamming Ace so hard we wouldn’t be surprised to see the ring break. Ace isn’t about to be dominated yet and nails Eliot with a powerful dropkick, leaving him on his knees begging for a timeout. Um, this is wrestling and there are no timeouts. Surely Ace knows this. Eliot reaches out his hand as a peace offering Ace is just dumb enough to do the same. Eliot grabs Ace’s hand and sends our disco boy face-first into the middle turnbuckle. That’ll leave a mark.
Ace can’t seem to stop making smartass comments, yet Eliot remains steady and calm, focused on controlling and dominating his opponent. Ace breaks out of a sleeper, but Eliot grabs a handful of his pretty hair, throwing him back down on the mat so hard that Ace is seeing stars that are as bright as his trunks. Eliot seems to enjoy pulling Ace’s hair. All those curls are irresistible. Those curls are not nearly as neat and pretty as they were at the start of the match. A rake of the eyes leaves big Eliot blinded and swinging aimlessly, not able to connect with anything. Eliot has controlled Ace for most of the match, but Ace isn’t giving up just yet. Ace is face-down on the mat when Eliot pulls him up by an ankle and slams his knee into the mat. He does it again before putting the pretty boy into a figure-four. Hopefully Ace knows a good orthopedic surgeon as well. When told to give up, Ace response with a disrespectful, “Screw you!” Ace does finally manage to reverse the figure-four, but it takes Eliot less than five seconds to grab the ropes, forcing him to break the hold. Eliot takes quick control and is twisting Ace’s knee and ankle like each is a pretzel. Every time Ace reaches for the ropes, Eliot drags him back into the center of the ring and applies even more pressure. Ace escapes again, but manages to climb outside the ropes and get Eliot into a pin. It’s only good for a two-count before Eliot reverses it and gets a two-count of his own. Eliot gets right back to twisting Ace’s knee and ankle again. Ace manages to grab the ropes to break the hold, but when he stands up, he’s unable to put any weight on his left leg. Eliot keeps taunting him and quickly has more pressure on the same knee and ankle. Ace rolls onto his back and is able to kick the Elite one off of him. Is this the start of Ace’s comeback? The two are all over the ring, with Ace managing to slam Eliot’s head down to the mat three different times, bouncing him around the ring like a superball on asphalt. Each man is showing fatigue, but neither will quit. There’s a three-count, but who pinned whom?